Rehearsal Time!

stop struggling

Siu Mei and Me

FunNY

My BDaY

In Memoriam

A cold stark winter morning

chill

a cloudy day

a white curtain that stretches across the horizon

no sun

at my desk

intended to close down the past

erase the words

with the click of a button'

delete the blog

but the words of a friend

halt my hand

for the memories she says

and that we might all keep in touch

once we embark on our seperate ways

i agree

Epcot from a different View

Space Centre Epcot

Osbourne Festival of Lights MGM

Tale as Old as Time

Christmas Special!!

Beauty and the Beast

Winnie the Pooh

Christmas Tink!

Another One of Cinderella Castle!!!:)

Church in Florida Where we had Mass

Epcot

MGM studios

Magic Kingdom DisneyWorld Florida

nice and chrismassy 

covent 

covent garden 

Me! Ice Skating 

my friend aaron haha 

Monday

Mondays are really sucky, they herald the beginning of weeks and the end of a weekends. urgh...

this week is not good, i have a lot of work. beginning with let me see a 1500 word essay due on friday, 2 tutorials each of which now takes me ages to do, 2 competitions and choir prac. Man....

oh well, i asked for it i guess...

its getting really cold in leicester now, damn it fog is so thick u could cut it with a knife and weather is so cold i shoudl switch off my fridge and leave my food outside. It wasnt this cold last year man, but man this year its chilling.

saw two movies- the more exciting one to describe will be the scary movie emily rose. yah.. ok that one was pretty bad. hahaa... i can watch exorcist alone and not feel scared, but this one actually had my heart racing damn fast sia....piangz...there was this girl in the movie theatre, trying to be funny, the first of the scary scenes she was laughing like super loud trying to show off the fact she wasnt scared, by the end of it, she didnt even laugh once. if u believe in god and the devil, my advice is dun watch this show unless you are spiritually really strong man...

ok enough abt movie before i cant sleep...skipped lecture today because the lecturer makes me confused and doesnt make any sense...ok i know she tried her best but i seriously do not understand a damn thing she is saying, i just nod off to sleep in lecture...all i hear is her going this is a difficult concept, this is a difficult concept and after her explanation, shes right, it is a difficult concept, i guess maybe even if it was a simple concept, after the explanation it becomes a difficult concept... wah piangz...

hmm what else to write, oh yes suppose to be doing my essay and my work but i feel very very sian sia...its so insanely dull...so i thot i would write a bit...


ok let me write a joke...

a bear and a rabbit were sitting under a tree and both were taking a shit. the rabbit turned to the bear and said 'yo man, do u have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?'

the bear 'no'..

and used the rabbit to wipe his ass...

Ok now a chance to insult my old JC

how many VJCians does it take to change a lightbulb?

The whole school- 1 to change the light bulb the others to stand around and cheer (forced by the red shirts who feel insanely loyal to the school-go figure man)

Hhahaa...

Home

I just read my friends blog and on it she had the song home by michael buble. The words are very touching and basically were a touchstone of emotion for anybody.

I am not a very happy person, in fact i am a cynic of the highest order.

I have always wondered why i am constantly fighting the world and why i never felt happy when others do, no matter what i tried.

After reading my friends blog, i realized the truth; its because i have no home...

A home is more than roof over your head. A home is where you feel safe, you feel welcome. It is your sanctuary. It is the one place in the world where you can retreat no matter how many bad things happen to you, to rest and to recover and to be happy. Loved for who you are by people who care.

I dont have this. I have tried very hard to find a place like this all my life but i have never ever found it.

People i know, most especially one in particular, would use me and then dump me in the sewer once they cant get anymore out of you. I believe that even if someone stays on, its to satiate their own guilt rather than to make sure you feel better. No one will care for you the moment it interrupts their life, they will only care if its convenient and in their interests.

I am sure people will say i am a pessimist or that i am just an asshole who deserves what i am getting..but then do i? I wonder how many people i have stood by in the past have actually come back and thanked me or actually stayed loyal to me, even when its not convenient for them. thats probably the true test of a friend, staying and sacrificing when things are hard for them too..

But hey very few have actually done me that favour, though some have and i am enternally grateful.

For all those who know my life and what i have seen, tell me honestly, do you blame me for the way i look at life? Have u tried to change the way i look at it by more than mere platitudes? are u actually there to show that my underlying assumption is wrong?or more scarily could no one bother cuz as long as their life is fine, who cares is someone else sinks?

Bonfire Night!